Archives for posts with tag: why?

i wreak of diesel fuel right now.  no amount of washing will get it out.   i think i’m going to die of random fume + dust smells.  okay maybe not. LOL.

oh wait, i’m ahead of myself.  maybe i should backtrack and get to where I am today.

so the other night during my skate lesson I bit it really really hard.  Right in the face.  I’m still recovering but I’m not gonna whine about it.  Okay yes I am because it’s on my face and it’s all i can think about.  Plus, since I have on this hijab ALL you see of me is my face. LOL.  So to have a big bruise on your chin, well. ugh.  I look either like a tough girl or a battered wife.  But internally, honestly it’s interesting to see how the body responds when you keep going when you don’t want to.  After the fall I got back up and kept skating.  I’m so proud of that part.

On that note, I’m learning and relearning the idea of patience.  We wanted to paint a mural today (or at least get the ball rolling).  And to do such a thing is a bigger job than grab paint, grab brushes, slap it on board, let it dry.  Here, searching around in the dark because the power is out for the 10th time today and all the lanterns are being used for much more important purposes means that finding the supplies is a real challenge.  Or realizing that going to buy new rollers to paint with will be an all day affair.  Needless to say, that when all was said and done, the easiest, simplest way to get the paint off of my hands was to wash them in diesel fuel – because that’s all we had, and it was going to have to work.   Spending time complaining or fretting is just a pure waste.  There are so many things going on in the day – and so many little moments to really savor with the kids… I dunno.  I get it.  You do the best you can with the tools you have and move on.  Wisely.  But move on.  The gas smell will eventually fade.  The mural I am going to help teach them how to paint will hopefully be here many years to come.

I’m learning about how organizations built up of a collage of people from different nationalities is challenging.  There are so many random cultural idiosyncrasies that the simplest ideas can take forever to be generally accepted by everyone in the room.  Or, even, trying to hash out a process sometimes ends in arguments because sometimes people are saying the same thing but in different ways.  Or, perhaps there are assumptions being made by one party or another.  It definitely makes me want to take a class in cross-cultural communication.   Especially because in the end – we always figure out a way to get things done.  We pretty much work 12 – 13 hour days here on average.  Much of that time is dedicated to making sure we get it all done and that folks are clear on the mission.  There are oftentimes still misunderstandings, but in another sense, it’s beautiful to watch us humans figure it all out.

In other news, I’m growing more and more frustrated with being a woman here.  I have my thoughts that perhaps I’ll share later about how why countries who don’t allow for equal space for both genders can’t really thrive.  But in the meantime, I WILL take this time to whine about how I just want to go to a shop and buy something, talk to some people, maybe go get a soda.   But really, there is such a huge fear here of women.  Yes, I call it fear.  Its sad really. But also, you grow jealous of your male counterparts.  They go and do and walk around with relative ease.  They don’t know quite how frustrating it is for us women working here.  I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to do an exercise where the men in our office had to be a woman for a day.  Just to maybe get a glimpse at how it feels to be so restricted.  So funny how the most degrading thing for a man to even consider being is a woman.  So sad.

I’ve never in my life ever really wanted to be a man.  But in this instance I wish I could perhaps just not be any gender.  I just feel like there are so many parts of this country I’ll never get to experience because I’m a woman.  Sort of frustrating to come all this way and for that to be the reality.


i’m headed home for the evening now.  i’se sleepy.  hmmm…. i can’t wait to come back and tell you more about my classes and the students tomorrow.


For all of you that don’t know how to read an email conversation, you gotta start at the bottom and read up.

here’s another example of the fabulous fish i have to choose from in the dating world.

at this point, i only keep my account open for the entertainment value.

To: Chocolateonu

Subject: Re: Read This

I should tell you the same thing.

…talkin’ ’bout kids and ish ‘fo you know my first name.

Who are you? Where are you from? What’s your favorite music? Any diseases I should know about? Since we’re talking kids gotta make sure you’re clean enough to occupy my eggs.

How much did you report on your Income taxes for last year? better yet, What is your social security? You know, just in case you try to bail on taking care of the rugrats.

hmmm.. what else do i need to know to determine your father eligibility.

mamma and daddy’s name? where do they live?

…..ooooor maybe we’ll just start with:

Hi. How are you? Your profile seems interesting. What are you up to on a random Tuesday afternoon? I’m at work… trying to make it do what it do..

—— Original note ——

From: Chocolateonyou
To: niki
Subject: Re: Read This
Well why dont you take the time to get to know me then

—— Original note ——

From: niki
To: Chocolateonyou
Subject: Re: Read This

“have our kids” um. fresh outta the gate its like that?

boy get outta here.

you could be the spawn of satan for all i know. what do i look like saying yes to some random Omari man from XYZ?

LOL…. crackin up over here.
—— Original note ——

From: Chocolateonyou
To: niki
Subject: Read This
Hello how are you doing? Omari is my name! I would like to know if you would love to have our kids.

Written by Niki

Ok – so I signed up at a new dating site.

I secretly held high hopes for my brethren.  Not that really expected to meet the love of my life, but rather – perhaps have some interesting/stimulating exchanges? A fun date or two?

I’ve been sorely disappointed in the quality of humans to be found there.  Or maybe disappointed is the wrong word.  I just shake my head mostly.

I just have a few questions –

1 – do women really go for this stuff?  it’s super corny/coonish/silly…. if it works then go ‘head – but none of the women I know would be turned on by this buffonery.

2 – if i had a dollar for every time I was asked – wanna come over and watch a movie?  IN THE FIRST CONVERSATION/FOR THE FIRST DATE – I would certainly not be having this current economic crisis in my bank account.  Seriously.

3 – there really is something going wrong in the American school system.  I’m all for slang – no doubt about it.  But this right here is just a different language.  I find myself squinting when I read this ish because it makes my brain hurt.

4 – who are the women related to these fools?  don’t none of them (yeah, I know) have the good sense to slap these fools upside the head?

first, i present you with a sampling of the screennames.  yeah, I probably shouldn’t, but they are just too good not to, you know?  I modified them a teeny bit to help mask – but the general intent of name is the same.

Leaveemwetta69    – uuuuh no.  this name gives me instant sahara crotch actually.
LILKILLA2 – sorry, not trying to be on the first 48.
20TWINTWIN  –  hayle naw.
deification10 – no words.
MRFOOTLONG- while i appreciate the sentiment, this is not a porn audition –  and while we’re on the subject, what about the girth?
now the wonderfully harvard grad level messages:

Subject: WUZ UP SEXY


…what are we?  sitting on the passenger side of your best friends ride?  cuz that’s what this reminds me of…

Subject: No subject provided

whats up babigirl hi u doing how has ur day been i cant comploaine me for the most part feeling blessed to wake up anyway u have a interesting profile i like it u keep it real and u do it with style that whats up ma keep lookin good and doin ya thang get back at me maybe we can get to know each outher as friends so holla back my name iz shamon dre

le sigh.  did you know that there are periods, commas, dashes, and all SORTS of wonderful tools for your use on the computer keyboard?  that is all. not really, but a great place for this one to start.

Subject: hi

hello nic one how are u today? i hope all is well with u .am Simon and am new on here..and i saw ur profile and got interested .u can em,qail me on yahoo id or u can add me on there so we can get to talk so we know more about urselves utill then stay blessed

i didn’t have to look @ location to know you weren’t on this continent.  how are we gonna do anything if you’re in africa?

Subject: Hi

Wow Boo you are real cute. Holla back at a brother.

wow foo.  hayle naw.

Subject: No subject provided

hi, how r u today? ill be in l.a. n a couple weeks, i dont really know any1 but lookn for sum cool friends to meet n maybe show me around. im archie, holla back at me

so let me get this straight.  i’m supposed to give up my weekend for you mr. random internet dude?  and you’re looking for a harem of “friends” to show you around?  really?  me thinks not.  why did you take the time to type this?  my name is not kat stacks (look it up) and you are not bow wow.  please try to go find a life and get out of my inbox.  kthanksbai

Subject: kay

whats good

for sure not you.  i have nothing more say really.

Subject: Lady of my dreams

I tried to IM you, maybe it’s not working. Yes, I’m sure of it; it’s you. Your hiar, your lips…You are my girl. I have been looking for you for 33 years; now that I have found you.

When I first seen you I said wow! it’s like I new you. Please understand I’;m real.

xxxxxx is my name; meand diamond in english. I have to talk to you, please please call me.

714 xxx xxxx. or txt….so that I can make you believe. your my soul mate, I can feel it.

PC is running slow going to turn it off

please txt me, get to know me…again like we use to know each other in another life.

Yeah, and these are the kinds of dudes who say that women don’t want a sensitive man.  How you gonna pop outta the gate with alla this extra info MAYNE?  Do I know you?  Why are we going to talk?  #getalifedude  you talkin bout soul mates and all kinds of stuff that makes me want to take all my photos down from everywhere.  really this is some scary ish if you think about it.

ok – i’m going to nap now.  iCan’t handle all the tomfoolery.

Written by Niki

He got some response y’all.  Ya betta recognize!

T’coco, this one goes out to you. This time, he’ll be true.

We have so much to look forward to musically in 2010.  Unfortch, I could only make it to the 1:08 mark before I had to turn it off wipe the blood from my ears.

Enjoyed this?  Never the one to disappoint, your G*Flydora recommends the following videos to fall in love with:


Ya Boy Banks

Posted by:

Written by Niki

I get that living in a big city means I have to put up with a higher than average ratio of numbnuts.

I get that everybody is raised differently, has different cultural practices, and views the world differently.

That’s all fine and dandy until it means that you put me in physical danger or make me have to put up with the negative effects of your behavior.

I need to find out where I need to apply to get these entered into official law; punishable by fine or a good shoving into a cold body of water.

Here’s my list….

Thou shalt not:

1.  Open your car door all the way on a busy street while traffic is whizzing by. Wait the 5 seconds until traffic comes to a halt or clears.  Anything to be removed from the backseat, you should grab from the other side near the curb.  So you know, if I hit you, YOU’RE the one that will be found at fault.  You make me want to plow right into you.  Thankfully for you, because I don’t have time for bull, I don’t.

2. Stop walking in the middle of a crowded walkway. Yes, I will run into you and crash.  Since it’s crowded, I won’t have room to go around.  You make me want to push you down.  Sometimes, I do just that and keep it moving.

3. Go through a the light after it has turned red. Yeah, sounds like common sense.  However this one especially pisses me off when I have a 7 second green turn light on a busy street.  When you hog the intersection, it means that I miss my turn.  It makes me want to plow right into your car just for the aggravation of an accident.  But again, I ain’t got time in my busy day for alla that.

My sentiments exactly:

4. Smoke or pee in a crowd. I don’t care about your lungs.  I do care about my own (and my shoes).  I don’t care what you say, it is extremely rude to expel toxins in my face.  I am still trying to figure out how or why it’s acceptable for a person to be so obnoxious/indignant about such activity.  It makes me want to put the cigarette out in your eye.

…and for the love of all that is good, WHY do people smoke around babies and children?  I am still trying to figure out how/why this is ok.  I can’t think of a single argument for giving your baby smoky lungs.

5. Walk out into traffic or across parking lot lanes without looking, pausing, acknowledging that you are on a roadway. In most instances, YOU THE PEDESTRIAN has much more control in terms of SEEING and REACTING to the danger.

Why you think the rule that Pedestrians have the right of way means that you are covered by some sort of bubble is beyond me.   That’s why your parents taught you to look both ways before crossing the street.  As a driver, there are a million and one things a person must pay attention to – even if they aren’t on the phone, eating, applying makeup or changing the radio station.

Call me an ass, but unless you the pedestrian keeps your part of the roadway bargain, I don’t feel bad when the news reports you hit.   Usually, it’s because you walked (ran) out into the street without looking or paying attention.   And don’t get me started on fools in black at night darting across.

It’s especially frustrating when you walk down the middle of the parking lot wandering, searching, gabbing, strolling, etc etc.  What is so hard about walking off to the side so cars can pass?  What is so hard about at least pausing before stepping into the oncoming parking lot traffic?

And WHY do you have 10 kids at every age between 0 – 9 trying to run against the light or a blinking DON’T WALK HAND?!!  unless you are trying to catch the elusive Los Angeles Metro Bus, there really is no excuse for such tomfoolery.

on the other hand,

6. HONK at me while I allow someone the courtesy of crossing the street or entering traffic. Or actually stop at a stop sign in a residential neighborhood. I don’t let everyone by.  But if there is a human being trying to go about their business within the rules of the road, then I allow them to do as much.  Especially since I hope for and depend upon the same respect.

7. Spit your gum out  on the floor (indoors) or hawk a loogie right in the walkway of where everybody is trying to go. That just is so uncouth there is very little else to say on the matter.   I can never figure out who are the people who think this selfishness is acceptable in a civilized society.

8. Throw your trash (especially fast food and Yaki hair) out the window or leave it on the side of the curb.

To me, it means you have no respect for yourself or where you live.  ::le sigh::  And.  The tumbleweeds of hairweeve I see blowing across the street is the is a tragic low in hood living.

Your trash does not disappear when you do.  It sits there and rots.  It makes my city look ugly.  It means that sometimes, I’ll open my car door to your leftover shake and have to do gymnastics to get out of my car and around it.  For people like you, it should also be no wonder why people in other countries look down on American culture.  We’re so selfish and lazy, we’d rather live in a dirty city than wait until we can find a trash can.

At least she's running after the po chile. Oftentimes I see the parents carrying on as if nothing is happening.

9. Allow your children to roam freely in the store or parking lot. Why do I have to take responsibility for watching out for your rambunctious offspring?  Their monkey swings off of the clothing rack aren’t cute.  When they run free around the restaurant while you engage in idle chit chat you look like a dummy.  Trust me, everybody around you is annoyed and wants to throw tomatoes at your head. I love the chirren, BUT no wonder they get snatched up by crazies in the store!  They aren’t kept in a stroller or reprimanded for running out of sight.

When your child wanders away from you, and I see you picking over the latest fashions like you walked in here alone, it makes me want to take your kids to security.  Let them sit in there while you figure out how to get your ish together and what you did wrong.  I get that you need a break.  Really I do.  However, I shouldn’t have to put up with your periodic lack of desire to parent.  Take a class or read an article or something to help rectify this problem.  PLEASE.

10. Lick your finger to turn a page, then hand said page over to me. Gross.  Just gross.  It turns my stomach every time.  Is that the ONLY way to separate the pages?  I promise I’ll wait patiently while you find a better way to give me the intended sheet of paper.

Those are the first set of 10 – can any of you think of any?  I know I left off some rude behavior that needs mentioning...

Yeah, pretty much – People suck.

Posted by:

Written by Niki

Thanks Agent M.   & BoomBash Pow.  Thanks a whole whole lot.

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