Archives for posts with tag: hilarious

Today in Afghan living, I’m going to tell you about this wonderful dish called:

SOCK SOUP

10 Pairs of socks – any color.  White and blacks together are just fine in fact
10 Pairs of underwear
5 – 6 (maybe even 7) pots of water
1 cup of clothing detergent
1 plastic bag

1.) Bring 2 pots of water to a rapid boil.
2.) Pour detergent into big plastic container like a washed out garbage can or other tub.
3.) Pour boiling water over detergent.
4.) Fill tub with with socks and underwear.
5.) Stir with long plastic spoon.  Do not be alarmed if the water turns gray or black.  You will not be able to see anything in the water because it is so dirty. This is normal.  Remember, you live around a lot of dust.
6.) Transfer wet clothes to plastic bag.  Do this the best way you see fit.
7.) Pour nasty water down toilet.  Refill bucket with 2 more pots of water.  It shouldn’t be boiling, perhaps warm enough for you to put your hands in.
8.) Dump clothes into water.  Pretend like you are on a river with rocks and get to scrubbin’.
9.) Water will still be gray.  This is okay.  Ever heard of rinse n repeat?  Well this is where they got it from.
10.) Keep repeating until water is clearish.  Your clothes will not ever be undingy.  That’s okay.  They smell clean, and have essentially been boiled.
11.) Squeeze them ad dry as you can.  This all depends on how tired you are.
12.)Do you have a bukhari?  Great!  Wipe it down (so as not to re-dust everything) and fry your clothes on the open grate.  This will allow you to have clean socks and panties in the morning.
12.) Revel in the fact that your room now smells like fresh laundry detergent.
13.) Go to bed.  You deserve it.

Now that I’ve mastered the art of cooking, let’s move on to other topics in tasty delights?

They asked MOI of all people to be on the Afghan version of Iron Chef called: 59 Minutes.  It airs on Ariana.  I dare somebody to find the footage.  Do you think we’ll be able to find it on YouTube?  I pray YES.  I judged the cooking stylistics of these two women who thought they “put their foot in it.”   I can’t share the results because I’m legally bound (and I just KNOW how much you’re all out there clamoring to tell the world), but I did get my grub on.  I did my best impersonation of the gluttons Alton Brown questions on Iron Chef America.  And tried to be as giggly as the girls who get dubbed on Iron Chef Japan (yeah right, not really).  It was loads of fun.  Definitely a story I will be re-telling and re-telling.  I just hafta wait till it airs before I can say too much.

YUM-O!!!!

 

Written by Niki

it’s Friday; you ain’t got no job… and you ain’t got shit to do.

  1. We are still in FULL MARCH MADNESS swag.  As such.  Get your mustache on.
  2. Okay – this has happened to me people. Every once in a while I STILL stay up late at night thinking about the man who broke into my home for three days in a row (that’s how long it took me to figure it all out) to eat chocolates and sandwiches out of the fridge.  No lie.  This fool had the audacity to leave a crumpled up bag of my boyfriend’s favorite chocolate (#dontask, let’s not get off on a tangent about boyfriends who have favorite chocolates they keep in the freezer.) on the counter.   So I feel this establishment’s bewilderment.  I mean.  Who does that?
  3. Um.  I know HE wants to take advantage of the lovely weather and free healthcare that Costa Rica Provides.  I get it.  But I think I’d rather get him a ticket to Bosnia, Serbia,  or…  hmm.  Maybe the northern most tundra of Canada?  Somewhere where I can rest assured that I’ll never have to listen to his or his followers hatefully ignorant rants again.  Just sayin.
  4. Yanno – them biatches at Cosmo prolly don’t even have a man. I stopped reading them by the time I was old enough for it to be age appropriate anyways.  This is why I hate buttoned up advice these silly rags offer people anyways.  Why not just ask the guy or experiment?  Watch some porn perhaps?  This experiment is funny either way.
  5. We like the cars.  The cars that go BOOM. We’re Tigra and Bunny and we like the BOOM.
  6. Yeah, better yet.  Just delete yourself. NOW.
  7. Okay.  I’m a sucker for show themes.  I think they’re pretty awesome. I miss the ones of old… it’s nothing to catch me belting out Mooovin on UP!  as I pick up my dirty clothes off of the floor.  #maybethatwastmi
  8. I love France.  Anyone who really knows me that that country has a special place in my romantic heart.  … … Okay, I’m not that romantic, but I can be a bitch so maybe that it?  Anywho.  Along came this bit of fabulousness. First off, WHO has time in their day to recreate other people’s photo blogs?  Second, we’re glad THEY do because obvi I’ve got time to sit and look and laugh. Lastly, the filigree on the legs.  Really?
  9. Best.  Chatroulette. Ever.

Written by Niki

  1. Poor MiMi.  We care.
  2. His “corrupted com-mm-mmunication” pains us too.
  3. I’m confused. Now whose name is he saying he comes in?
  4. The Davil made him do it.  Red Hayndit.
  5. After years of film school, I am still trying to learn how to do those effects with the camera.  I am taking notes.
  6. I have also practiced for YEARS how to say “Shut cho ass up!” with that much class and perfection.  One. day.  I. Will. Have. It.
  7. OH – Video montage.  AWESOME!

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Written by Niki

When YouTube came up with the slogan “Broadcast Yourself”  I don’t know if they fully understood what glory and light their site would be responsible for bringing to the world.

Friend of the Flyverse, DJ Kaleem slid us this tasty morsel, and well, we thought we’d share the joy!

Michael Jackson can RIP knowing that Roye APOSTRPHE l can carry his sangin, dancing, twirling torch.

I think you’re ready.  You’re ready.

Not to seem unappreciative, but here are just a few of my thoughts upon experiencing this joyous gift.

  1. Is one leg a prosthetic?  Or could he just not find matching kneepads?
  2. You know how when you were a kid and you were so excited to do the Easter speech that you got out of breath just thinking about what you had to say?  …. Yeah.
  3. Chew love.  Is in my whirl.
  4. She?  This girl? Really?  Methinks you have the wrong word.
  5. Scarf(Shorts + vest) = Delicious
  6. Heeeiiiiiiyyyy – Teach me summathem steps!
  7. For whatever reason I fainted and hit the floor around :37
  8. The purple and gold reminds me of how GRRRReat the Flakers are.
  9. As soon as I revived myself, at :57 I was back comatose again.
  10. Now let’s get this brutha some werk!

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Written by Niki

All I have to say is this: A Ginormous dancing negroid in tights.

I dedicate this one to the movie “The Blind Side”

YEAAAAAAH!

Hello friend.

Where do I find that band to add extra emphasis to the tasty bits of my life?

Yay!  Let’s just say the revolution he’s calling for came, conquered, forgot to buy any t-shirts, and left us with this bull ish.  Yeah man.