I get that living in a big city means I have to put up with a higher than average ratio of numbnuts.

I get that everybody is raised differently, has different cultural practices, and views the world differently.

That’s all fine and dandy until it means that you put me in physical danger or make me have to put up with the negative effects of your behavior.

I need to find out where I need to apply to get these entered into official law; punishable by fine or a good shoving into a cold body of water.

Here’s my list….

Thou shalt not:

1.  Open your car door all the way on a busy street while traffic is whizzing by. Wait the 5 seconds until traffic comes to a halt or clears.  Anything to be removed from the backseat, you should grab from the other side near the curb.  So you know, if I hit you, YOU’RE the one that will be found at fault.  You make me want to plow right into you.  Thankfully for you, because I don’t have time for bull, I don’t.

2. Stop walking in the middle of a crowded walkway. Yes, I will run into you and crash.  Since it’s crowded, I won’t have room to go around.  You make me want to push you down.  Sometimes, I do just that and keep it moving.

3. Go through a the light after it has turned red. Yeah, sounds like common sense.  However this one especially pisses me off when I have a 7 second green turn light on a busy street.  When you hog the intersection, it means that I miss my turn.  It makes me want to plow right into your car just for the aggravation of an accident.  But again, I ain’t got time in my busy day for alla that.

My sentiments exactly:

4. Smoke or pee in a crowd. I don’t care about your lungs.  I do care about my own (and my shoes).  I don’t care what you say, it is extremely rude to expel toxins in my face.  I am still trying to figure out how or why it’s acceptable for a person to be so obnoxious/indignant about such activity.  It makes me want to put the cigarette out in your eye.

…and for the love of all that is good, WHY do people smoke around babies and children?  I am still trying to figure out how/why this is ok.  I can’t think of a single argument for giving your baby smoky lungs.

5. Walk out into traffic or across parking lot lanes without looking, pausing, acknowledging that you are on a roadway. In most instances, YOU THE PEDESTRIAN has much more control in terms of SEEING and REACTING to the danger.

Why you think the rule that Pedestrians have the right of way means that you are covered by some sort of bubble is beyond me.   That’s why your parents taught you to look both ways before crossing the street.  As a driver, there are a million and one things a person must pay attention to – even if they aren’t on the phone, eating, applying makeup or changing the radio station.

Call me an ass, but unless you the pedestrian keeps your part of the roadway bargain, I don’t feel bad when the news reports you hit.   Usually, it’s because you walked (ran) out into the street without looking or paying attention.   And don’t get me started on fools in black at night darting across.

It’s especially frustrating when you walk down the middle of the parking lot wandering, searching, gabbing, strolling, etc etc.  What is so hard about walking off to the side so cars can pass?  What is so hard about at least pausing before stepping into the oncoming parking lot traffic?

And WHY do you have 10 kids at every age between 0 – 9 trying to run against the light or a blinking DON’T WALK HAND?!!  unless you are trying to catch the elusive Los Angeles Metro Bus, there really is no excuse for such tomfoolery.

on the other hand,

6. HONK at me while I allow someone the courtesy of crossing the street or entering traffic. Or actually stop at a stop sign in a residential neighborhood. I don’t let everyone by.  But if there is a human being trying to go about their business within the rules of the road, then I allow them to do as much.  Especially since I hope for and depend upon the same respect.

7. Spit your gum out  on the floor (indoors) or hawk a loogie right in the walkway of where everybody is trying to go. That just is so uncouth there is very little else to say on the matter.   I can never figure out who are the people who think this selfishness is acceptable in a civilized society.

8. Throw your trash (especially fast food and Yaki hair) out the window or leave it on the side of the curb.

To me, it means you have no respect for yourself or where you live.  ::le sigh::  And.  The tumbleweeds of hairweeve I see blowing across the street is the is a tragic low in hood living.

Your trash does not disappear when you do.  It sits there and rots.  It makes my city look ugly.  It means that sometimes, I’ll open my car door to your leftover shake and have to do gymnastics to get out of my car and around it.  For people like you, it should also be no wonder why people in other countries look down on American culture.  We’re so selfish and lazy, we’d rather live in a dirty city than wait until we can find a trash can.

At least she's running after the po chile. Oftentimes I see the parents carrying on as if nothing is happening.

9. Allow your children to roam freely in the store or parking lot. Why do I have to take responsibility for watching out for your rambunctious offspring?  Their monkey swings off of the clothing rack aren’t cute.  When they run free around the restaurant while you engage in idle chit chat you look like a dummy.  Trust me, everybody around you is annoyed and wants to throw tomatoes at your head. I love the chirren, BUT no wonder they get snatched up by crazies in the store!  They aren’t kept in a stroller or reprimanded for running out of sight.

When your child wanders away from you, and I see you picking over the latest fashions like you walked in here alone, it makes me want to take your kids to security.  Let them sit in there while you figure out how to get your ish together and what you did wrong.  I get that you need a break.  Really I do.  However, I shouldn’t have to put up with your periodic lack of desire to parent.  Take a class or read an article or something to help rectify this problem.  PLEASE.

10. Lick your finger to turn a page, then hand said page over to me. Gross.  Just gross.  It turns my stomach every time.  Is that the ONLY way to separate the pages?  I promise I’ll wait patiently while you find a better way to give me the intended sheet of paper.

Those are the first set of 10 – can any of you think of any?  I know I left off some rude behavior that needs mentioning...

Yeah, pretty much – People suck.

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Written by Niki

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