I work in Hollywood.  No no, not just in that adjective sort of way.  But in the physical, real 90028/38/68

These posts go out to all the fabulousness that makes Hollywoodland, hollywoodland.

1.  You MUST, MUST look down while you walk to avoid human fecal matter.  This is an issue of critical shoe survival.

2. Batman lives in Julia Robert’s house from Pretty Woman.

3. Playing Rock Band does not a Band Hero make.  When you dress like that, off stage, yes you still look ridiculous.  I promise nobody is going to discover you off of Wilcox & Yucca.  As a person who wears pink hair regularly, I can safely say that YOU have gone a step to far.

4. The guy who dresses up like the KISS frontman is wearing a Santa hat these days.  I wonder if he gets sick of walking around these dirty ass streets with his tongue stuck out.

5. I wish that it wasn’t true that every time I have food in a bag I’m asked by a stranger for some.  I’m not stingy – I really really do need this meal to last me 2 days.  If I could, I would buy all of you food everyday.  That and I wish that there weren’t so many hungry people in these parts.  Too many restuarants over here for this to be so…..  I hope the little change I can give does some good at some point.

6. What’s up with the new parking rules?  this is some BULL!  oh how I hate to valet.  and whycome the metro train ends so early?

7. I have no idea why it warms my heart to see you mr. grey & bald asian man speaking comfortably with more ebonicky hood flavor than the black man in a suit sitting across from you.   I want to know where he is from!

8. There is nothing at that restaurant at Franklin and Highland that won’t make you fat.

9. Do NOT go to the Amoeba store for lunch.  You will never make it out.

10. They need to put an H1N1 warning or some hand sanitizer outside of that Mann’s Theater.

11. That broke assed Bugs Bunny needs to try again.  I’m all for homemade get ups.  Get yours boo.  But this ish rite here…. where’s my camera phone?

12.  It’s time to leave this cafe because Black Buddha is staring at me.  The problem is, it could be for any number of reasons.

I’m sure there will be more.  But this is what I got for now….

Advertisements