So. I was walking down Redondo Beach Blvd, pushing my two-year-old son home after a morning grocery shopping trip.
It’s a busy street. A huge shopping center on my immediate right. Banks and fast food joints across the street on my left. Cars speeding past in both directions. The sidewalks are not crowded, but generously littered here and there with pedestrians.
I’m minding my own business, you see, when I notice that I’m catching up to the lady in front of me. She’s a little wide, her dark pink skirt swishing back and forth, brushing the back of her legs before flaring out at the sides. I’m starting to calculate how to manuever my bulky green stroller, filled to brim with a fussy toddler and heavy groceries, around her on the somewhat narrow sidewalk so I can get to the corner light before it turns green. And then…
Did she…?
Am I….?
She DID just squat down in front of me. I AM watching her pee right there in broad daylight. And Yes! I am turning this stroller right around and finding an alternate route to get to the corner and to cross the street.
And as I walk away I wonder….DID I REALLY JUST SEE THAT?


Yes, you did.

GIRL!!  yes.  okay, so right after MJ died, my mother and cousin were in town.  They both were born, raised, and  live in Gary, Indiana so they REALLY wanted to go see his star.  We fight, budge and cuss to get to actually lay eyes on it – since there were obviously a million people crowded around.  While we’re ooooo’ing and aaaahhh’ing, I hear the sound of water hitting the ground. 

Everybody knows “it doesn’t rain in southern California.”  So I’m looking around to see WHERE is this liquid coming from.  “Cause it sounded very close…. I turn around and this woman is holding her 5 or 6 YEAR OLD son while he holds his appendage and pees right into the crowd.  Now their backs were away from the actual star, but their bodies were still in the mix.

I’m watching, and I lock eyes with the woman.  I go “REALLY LADY??? WHY ARE YOU SO NASTY??? You couldn’t make it to one of the 1,000 stores, shops, and attractions located steps to the side to get into a bathroom?  You couldn’t push your way 5 feet into the street where there is construction and thus NO traffic?  Now we have to duck and dodge your son’s piss.  Thanks a lot.  You are nasty.” 

You would think she was ashamed.  You would think she’d say “Well he just whipped it out and what could I do?”  No.  She didn’t.  She shrugged. And continued to hold him while he let out the longest pee ever.

I pushed my way out of the crowd.  The rest of the tourists I guess felt seeing the star more important than a little piss on the leg or shoe and continued to crowd around. 

People suck.